that's why california calls 'em ROLLING black outs

"MonkeePuzzle" (monkeypuzzle)
09/24/2020 at 12:49 • Filed to: None

SACRAMENTO, CA—Gavin Newsom, governor of the state with the highest people-to-electricity in the nation, banned gasoline cars yesterday via executive order. The order takes effect in 2035, meaning by that time, everyone in the state with no electricity will only be able to plug in their cars to the power grid that does not work.

“Everyone, plug in those cars!” Newsom said proudly in a room lit only by candlelight, since, you know, the whole electricity thing. “Other states run on backward, outdated fossil fuels. We are the state of the future, so we will run solely on electricity. Which, you know, we’re working on. We could have power by 2035. You never know.”

There was an awkward silence.

“SCIENCE!” Newsom said, regaining his momentum and drawing applause from the reporters gathered.

By the year 2035, the move is expected to completely eliminate all gasoline car carbon emissions, smog, and California residents.

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DISCUSSION (19)

MonkeePuzzle > MonkeePuzzle
09/24/2020 at 12:53

hear me out, what if each car carried a small generator to make its own electricity?

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > MonkeePuzzle
09/24/2020 at 12:55

Oh, that could never work... could it?

E90M3 > MonkeePuzzle
09/24/2020 at 12:56

That would never work.

For Sweden > MonkeePuzzle
09/24/2020 at 12:59

Never forget when the men and women of the USAF used blackouts to save Earth from alien attack

Kinja'd!!!

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > MonkeePuzzle
09/24/2020 at 12:59

No, that’s impossible. It would be too heavy and complex and heavy and expensive and heavy and easy.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > MonkeePuzzle
09/24/2020 at 13:00

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This is exquisitely perfect— the embodiment of the hypocrisy that pervades every, single, dumbass decision from On High in California.

It’s right up there with “Let’s let the millionaire Tesla owners use their single-occupant cars in the HOV lane...”. After a couple of years of that nonsense the buses, transit vans and ACTUAL car pools notice that the average rush hour speeds have dropped substantially-- to the point where they lose federal funding because the speeds are down in the 20s.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > For Sweden
09/24/2020 at 13:04

Is this cannon?

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
09/24/2020 at 13:04

...and reliable... and it might even come with a Toyota badge on it...

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > For Sweden
09/24/2020 at 13:06

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Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish
09/24/2020 at 13:13

That too. People would never believe a system twice as complex could have twice as many failsafes.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
09/24/2020 at 13:17

I love the theory that “Tesla cars will last millions of miles because no moving parts...”

Then you see the video of the Model S door actuator teardown and think “Geezus H. Krist, that disaster would be lucky to last 10,000 miles”. Ditto cooling systems, air suspensions, ...

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish
09/24/2020 at 13:22

Built to work perfectly until broken irreparably.

For Sweden > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
09/24/2020 at 13:23

Yes

OPPOsaurus WRX > MonkeePuzzle
09/24/2020 at 13:32

“ The order takes effect in 2035, meaning by that time, everyone in the state with no electricity will only be able to plug in their cars to the power grid that does not work.”

no that is not what is happening. it is only banning the sales of gas cars. Everyone will not be forced to plug in. only those who buy new cars.